The Komui Menace
by Ejarel
Summary: Komui's "Komurin Six" vs the Science Department's "A Drop of Tear on a Rainy Day". Which robot will prevail?
1. The Komui Menace

**Chapter 1: The Komui Menace**

**The Science Department Daily **(7th May, Monday)

Post of the week: results revealed!! 

Q: Komui is a/an .

1. loony (4)

2. public nuisance (11)

3. threat to society (15)

4. Akuma! (how else can you explain the danger he poses to everyone?!) (70)

Results complied by the Science Department. Watch out for more exciting polls coming up!

* * *

"Reever-san, this is Johnny! Komui is not in Lenalee's room! Shall we check Lenalee's wardrobe?"

Reever Wenhamm closed his eyes in concerntration. The last time Komui had ran off for his self-declared break, it had lasted for five days straight and almost threw the Science Department into a state of emergency. They had eventually found him hidden in Lenalee's cupboard, surrounded by numerous bottles of water and cookie jars. That loony had even found a way to install a gas cooker inside. There was EVERY reason to check Lenalee's wardrobe.

But then again, Lenalee was after all, a girl. You just don't simply look into a girl's wardrobe. It's an unspoken law.

_Choices, choices_.

Reever thought quickly. "Johnny, is 65 with you too?"

"Yup. Why?"

"Well, technically, he's not human. Ask him to check the wardrobe. But no peeping for you, understand?"

"Y-yes Reever-san!"

Reever sighed and put down the telephone, for the first time taking a sweeping glance of the Science Department from Komui's worktable. He had to admit; the view from here was _terrible_. He could see the entire length of the paper-strewn office in its messy glory. Certainly a most depresing sight.

_No wonder Komui ran away whenever he could. I would, too_.

Still, Reever had no choice with regards to his current seating. Komui's table was the only one left with a telephone. The rest of the tables had their respective telephones taken away by the members of the Science Department. With the use of spare phone wires and golems Reever had extended the telephones' existing wires, enabling his department to carry the phones with them so that they could give him the latest updates on the search for the silly supervisor.

The phone rang again. Reever picked it up on its first ring.

"Have you found Komui?" he asked eagerly.

The voice on the other line sounded surprised. "Is that you, Reever-chan?"

Belatedly Reever recognised the voice as that of Bak Chan, supervisor of the Asian Branch of the Black Order. "Yes. Is this Bak? I'm sorry I didn't recognised your voice just now. Komui's not available for the moment. Can I take a message?" He began rummaging the messy tabletop for a pen and paper, and found none.

_How can Komui get anything done with this chaos around him? Oh right ... he doesn't. _

"Lemme guess. Komui's missing again?" Bak's tone was amused. "Well it's not something so important that it can't wait. But if you see him, tell him that the optimum temperature of hot water to brew coffee is around ninty-six degrees. He called me two days ago regarding this. Bye" The phone went dead as Bak disconnected from his end.

Reever could feel a pulse throbbing on his forehead._ Wait a minute. Komui actually made a long-distance call just to ask Bak this?!_

The moment Reever put down the phone, it rang again. Feeling a little peeved, he waited for the phone to ring three times before picking it up.

"Bak?' he answered gingerly.

"Huh? No, Reever-san, it's me, Walter, the new guy. I'm in the cafeteria. Jerry says Komui's not here, but I don't quite like the way he's looking at me and sharpening the knife at the same time."

"NO!" Reever practically screamed into the phone. "Don't believe what Jerry says! NEVER! They're best friends! It's VERY probable Jerry's hiding the supervisor in the kitchens. Scour every corner of it! Check all the cupboards, the food storage room, everywhere! And don't come back unless he's found!"

There was an audible gulp from the other end of the line. "O-okay, Reever-san. If you say so."

Reever put the phone down. _Where are you, Komui?!_

* * *

"I sense a disturbance in the force, Russell-san. I can almost feel Komui-san's presence."

Russell sighed. It was the fifth so-called disturbance in the last hour since they had started searching for Komui. He gave his companion a tired look.

"No offence, Tommy, but I don't trust your "_disturbances_". Now quit whining and help me carry the phone instead. I've been carrying it for an hour now."

Tommy would not be refused. "But Russell-san, I _really_ feel it. My stomach tells me to turn left!"

_Where the cafeteria is. Whee. You've got to try harder than that, Tommy, because I'm not falling for it. Why did I choose Tommy over the other new guys? I knew I should have chosen Walter instead. _

"We're going right," Russell said firmly. "We haven't checked the map room yet. Komui may be hiding there."

"Ooooo," Tommy interrupted abruptly. "I sense another disturbance. My bladder tells me it's dead ahead."

_Which leads to the washroom. Bravo, Tommy. Well done. _

But before Russell can stop his companion, Tommy had already bolted for the washroom. Russell sighed and leaned against the wall on his left when a blood-curdling scream broke the silence of he afternoon.

"WAAAAAAA!"

The scream did not sound like Tommy. Hurriedly Russell dialed a number on his telephone.

"Reever-san? I think I found Komui. He's on the tenth floor in right wing's washroom."

* * *

Reever rushed to the washroom to find it in a total uproar.

"MUTINY! IT'S A MUTINY!" Komui shrieked under the dead weight of Russell, Tommy and Walter. "REEVER-SAN! HELP ME"

"Wheeeeee!"

With an enthusiastic war-cry, Reever promptly jumped onto the human tangle, earning a squeal from the supervisor.

"Eek! You're not helping me, Reever" Komui whined in an odd sing-song.

Just then, Johnny appeared from a cubicle, clutching a terrific pile of empty cracker bags and bottles. "You won't believe this, Reever-san, but Komui has refurnished one of the shower cubicles into a miniature living space. It's gonna take some time to clear up all the rubbish the supervisor created, though."

"This madness ends here, supervisor," Russell grunted. "We still have a lot of work to do, you know."

"NEVER!" Turning to one side, Komui produced a single feather from his coat pocket, and proceeded to tickle Russell's nose.

"Wha-heehee! S-stop-hahaha AH CHOO!"

In the wake of Russell's tremendous sneeze Komui managed to struggle free. A blow-pipe instantaneously in the supervisor's slim digits.

"Everyone duck!" Reever shouted as he ran towards Komui in a rushing tackle.

Reever collided into Komui just as the latter blew his blow-pipe. The dart flew over Russell, Tommy and Walter.

And straight towards Johnny.

Johnny, however, did something most strange.

He stood his ground, not making the least effort to evade the deadly projectile.

"Johnny! Noooooo!"

To everyone's horror, the dart hit Johnny right in his chest.

And bounced off.

It wasn't physically possible, but Reever swore Komui's jaw dropped and hit the floor.

"H-h-ho-ho-how ..." the supervisor babbled.

The bespectacled Johnny laughed. "MUAH HA HA HA! Resistance is futile, supervisor! I, Johnny, will not bow to one mere dart. Is this the best you can do?" he mocked.

An unholy light glittered from Komui's eyes, and something akin to feral touched his grin. Everyone jumped away from Komui. Whipping out a remote from his lab coat, the supervisor depressed the single red button on the remote.

"Komurin Six! Activate!"

An ominous low rumbling began shaking the Headquarters.

"BAH HA HA HA!" Komui's evil smile widened. "Stand in awe and admire the saviour that is Komurin Six! Bask in its divine light! For I have brought to you not only a new fellow comrade, but also an anti-Akuma weapon, a coffee maker, an automatic office cleaner, all rolled into one godly combination! BAH HA HA HA!"


	2. The Komui Menace 2

**The Komui Menace II**

"WHEE HEE HEE HEE!"

Komui ran out of the washroom, both hands raised in the air, laughing gleefully. Mystified, the Science Department members followed their supervisor out.

Johnny was still hugging to the pile of ribbish he had found in the washroom. Suddenly he paused. "Guys," he said. "I think the rumbling has stopped."

Everyone halted in mid-steps. "You're right, Johnny-san," Walter said. "I wonder why."

"Wonder no more, my fellow colleagues! I, Komui, shall now present to you; KOMURIN 6!"

There was a blur of metal too fast for the human eye to register. For a heartbeat or two, it swirled around the beaming supervisor like some sort of a miniature tornado, creating a whirlwind of dust in its wake. Only when the dirt settled did everyone get their glimpse of the so-called technological miracle.

Standing, or rather, posing in dramatical fashions in front of Komui were six human-sized robots. While not looking particularly sophisticated, each looked more than qualified for their respective duties with excesive amounts of mechanical arms and tools dripping from their metallic frames. But, more eerily, Reever noticed each robot bored a name of a Science Department member hastily scribbled in crayon on their chests, and were deliberately designed to resemble him/her, though rather crudely.

"You mis-spelled my name," Johnny pointed out. "And isn't using crayon a little unprofessional?"

"No no no no no," Komui wagged a disapproving finger at him. "It's not the crayon that matters, dear Johnny. What matters more is that Komurin must and is able to carry out your respective duties. Watch, and admire."

The supervisor clapped his hands twice. With a beep, the robot labeled with Johnny's name rushed forward towards Johnny. Taking the load of rubbish from him, it began to crush and shape the junk with incredible speed. More metallic hands protruded out from its torso to hasten its effort.

"TADAA!" the "Johnny" robot chirped.

In mere moments, the rubbish had been shaped into remarkable likeness of a muscular Komui statue bashing an unfortuante Akuma with a coffee mug.

"Waaaahh ..."

Komui beamed widely. "With Johnny Robot, everyone in Headquarters will no longer have to weep over the problem of waste disposal EVER again! And what's more, Johnny Robot will be able to beautify the place with macho statues of your saviour, ME, in every single corner! Rejoice, my colleagues, rejoice!

Reever wasn't sure that was something to rejoice about. Walter, though, rasied his hands excitedly like a schoolboy.

"What does Walter Robot do, Supervisor?"

Komui was only too happy to demonstrate. Again he clapped his hands twice, and Walter Robot marched forward towards Walter.

"Would you like coffee or tea?" Walter Robot asked, in perfect imitation of Walter's voice.

"WOW!" Walter exclaimed. "It sounds like my voice! Erm I'll like -"

But Walter Robot did not wait to hear his answer. There was a sound of working machinery and sloshing liquid as it began brewing a particularly aromatic beverage. Seconds later, there was a beep as Walter Robot took out a steaming mug of coffee/tea? from its torso and passed it over to a thoroughly impressed Walter.

Walter took a careful sip, and everyone held their breath as they watched. Finally Russell asked the question that everyone was dying to ask.

"Is it nice?"

"Hm ... It's DELICIOUS!" Walter exclaimed. "But is it coffee or tea?" he asked Walter Robot.

"Can't you tell?" Komui asked impatiently.

"Errrrrrrrr ...," Walter's brows furrowed in deep concerntration as he took another sip. "Errrrrrrrr..No."

"Well then," Komui replied hastily. "It doesn't matter then, does it? HAHAHAHAHA!"

Reever decided that it was time for him to protest. "My hair isn't spiky!" he complained, pointing at Reever Robot.

Komui shot him a disapproving glare. "Tsk tsk, Reever. Exterior is not important. You, of all people, should already understand that. It is what Reever Robot can do that is more crucial."

Again the supervisor clapped his hands. This time, instead of walking towards Reever, Reever Robot turned towards its creator, who handed it a thick stack of documents.

"Could you assist me with these paperwork?" Komui asked sweetly.

Reever Robot chirped, and in a single fluid movement, threw the stack of paper into its mouth. There was a horrible shearing sound.

"W-What's it doing?" Reever asked fearfully.

Komui pretended not to hear him. When the shearing sound ceased, Komui opened the compartment door of Reever Robot's torso to reveal a pile of shredded paper.

"Isn't this great?" Komui smiled. "No more paperwork left!"

"NO!!" everyone shouted.

65 spoke up. "Supervisor, why does my 65 Robot look like an oversized crayon to me?"

Komui was unfazed by 65's negative comment. "Ah, good question, 65! That is because it is my personal favourite; an anti-Akuma weapon!"

_You're not answering the question_, Reever thought sullenly.

Again the supervisor clapped twice. At once, multiple arms and weapons extended out from 65 Robot in an awesome showcase of firepower. Rocket launchers, laser cannons, flame throwers, and even a mechanical arm ending with plastic forks. 65 suddenly found itself painted with at least seven laser scopes.

"WATCH WHERE YOU POINT THAT THING!!"

"Oops, sorry," Komui said without a hint of apology. "Any last burning questions?"

"Well, I do," Russell said. "Shouldn't Komurin 6 be just a single robot instead of six?"

"AHA!" Komui's spectacles glinted from an unknown source of light. "The question I have been waiting for so long! I shall answer your question right away, Russell. BEHOLD, THE KOMURIN 6 SUPER TRANSFORMATION!!"

At once, all six robots began changing shape, folding away their arms and legs as they combined to form an even larger entity. Machinery whirled and churned, clanked and goaned in protest. The resulting Komurin 6 was indeed something to behold. Everyone, save Komui, stepped away in fright.

"BAH HA HA HA! Stand in awe and admire the saviour that is me, Komurin Six! Bask in my divine light! For I am not only a new fellow comrade, but also an anti-Akuma weapon, a coffee maker, an automatic office cleaner, all rolled into one godly combination! BAH HA HA HA!" Komurin 6 cackled, waving its arms in sync with the dancing Komui.

"It even says the same line in Supervisor's voice," Johnny noted.

"Oh dear," Russell sighed.

Just then, they could hear footsteps approaching.

"I recognise their voices," Reever said. "It's Lavi and Allen."

As if on cue, both Exorcists appeared before the Science Department members as they rounded the corner. "Hi Reever-san, Russell-san," Allen waved towards them. "We're back. My legs are so tired from all the walking just now."

The titanic Komurin 6 turned to face Allen, and the two Exorcists leapt back in fright.

"Hm ..." Komurin 6 intoned. "I will help you become stronger, Allen. I shall replace your legs with metal ones like mine, so that you will never be tired from walking again."

A huge mallet instantenously appeared in Lavi's hands. "You've got to be kiddin'." he said, standing protectively in front of Allen. "You can't do that!"

"NO! Don't attack my precious Komurin 6!" Quick as a flash, Komui removed a blow-pipe from his coat pocket and fired at Lavi.

Lavi deflected the projectile easily. "Ha! You cannot expect me to fall for that, Komui! You-"

Howling in anger, Komui threw the blow-pipe at Lavi, which collided solidly against Lavi's forehead. The Exorcist went down without a sound, unconcious.

Allen caught his comrade before he fell to the ground. "LAVI!"

Komurin 6 stomped towards the Exorcists. "Lavi is injured. I will perform surgery on him before I tend to you, Allen Walker." Metal grippers extended out towards them. "Do not resist."

Allen needed no further prompting. He slung Lavi over his shoulder and began to run, Komurin 6 hot on his heels. "AAAAAARRRRRHHHH!!"

Reever stood up. _It is time_.

"Johnny!" he barked.

"Y-yes sir!"

"Prepare to commence _Operation: A Drop of Tear on a Rainy Day_!"


End file.
